I Left Home And Lost My Independence


This week the world stood still for me. Ok, maybe I should rephrase, just in case you think I believe I’m so important God stopped the earth spinning on it’s axis for me. Above all, it would be a completely unnecessary and I’m sure it would cause some kind of dangerous ripple effect in space. Here it goes…

Take two: this week my world stood still.

And first and foremost I’m grateful for the chance to exhale.

You’d probably like some back story and I’m here struggling for a place to begin. For the longest time, my life has felt chaotic. Is that a correct depiction of the truth? For what feels like forever my life has felt out of control. There’s still something not quite right about that description. A couple of weeks ago, I stopped reading my Bible, and I let the chaos in my life get me down. There we go, I wonder why the third time is always lucky.

So yeah, life was going way off the tracks that I had put in place and I felt like an outsider watching my life become a car crash of events. I started praying and couldn’t even take my mind off of my problems, long enough to appreciate the presence of God. I would be mid praising him and my mind would wander to that million dollar question: how was I going to pay my bills this month? So I would start working it out and eventually get tired of racking my brain, and depressed about the situation, and dissatisfied with life in general, and fed up with sitting in the ditch I felt God had left me to die in.

I’ve learnt two things this period

1. It’s easier to never try and live without Christ than to have to make that long prodigal son of a journey back to him.

2. Being independent from God just isn’t a real thing!!!!

Yes, that’s really just one thing, phrased slightly differently.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me – and I in him – bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing. -John 15:5

In other words God is our life-source. But what does that really mean?

When we feel like we’re running out of strength, we probably definitely, need more of God

When we feel like we’ve taken over the reigns of our life and God has now taken a back seat, we don’t even realise are trying to ignore, that we need more of God

When we’ve lost all sense of purpose and everyday seems as futile as the one before we may just really do, need more of God

When we feel like everything we’ve tried isn’t working and we’re tired of knocking at a closed door I suggest that I insist that, we need more of God

You may not have looked at life this way before, but I can wholeheartedly say: there’s nothing good outside of God and nothing worth doing can be done without him in the picture. I don’t really know why we try to cut God off in the first place. Maybe we feel like we’ve got to this place of Spiritual maturity so now we’re ready to go it alone? Anyone who genuinely believes that needs to know that it’s just not how Christianity works. It’s not like the world of work where, every promotion gives you just that bit more control and once you reach the top, you’re pretty much running the show. We needed God when we gave our lives to him. We need him now that we’ve begun to get to know him. We’ll need him in the future when we feel like we’ve bee walking with him forever. As we walk further with Christ, we realise that we’ve become, more, not less, dependent on him. And that’s just the way it should be.

Life felt chaotic for me, because I couldn’t come up with a solution for the storms life had brought. The world stopped when I realised that I didn’t have to. I finally got to exhale when I cast my burdens and left my problems with God to fix.

For anyone who is tired of running the show and is looking for an escape route the answer is below.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

The answer has always been Jesus, we just momentarily forgot.

Love you



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