I used to love sitting in English classes growing up, and learning what all the different literary terms meant. Does that make me kind of neeky? Who cares ?! If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you’ll know that I’ve come to be at one with the neekiness I exude. Anyway, back to my point, as any true literary neek, I had a few favourites (yes words, I’m not a ashamed to say that I have favourite words) that made me feel super smart just knowing. I’d get a bonus warm fuzzy feeling inside if I could identify them in people’s writing, and then I really hit the jackpot when I managed to use them in mine. I’m sort of drifting off and making this post about my love for English but I promise that it eventually becomes about what 2014 gave me. I would say my top 3 were onomatopoeia, just being able to spell it was a triumph in itself, all the different types of alliteration, and the coolest one of all…oxymoron.
Using moron in a serious piece of work was quite comical but once you get passed the immaturity of a year 7 (is that when you learn these words or have I just revealed the immaturity I tried to suppress?) you realise that oxymorons are just pretty cool all by themselves. How can you be describing a situation or an object as being polar opposite things at the same time and that be the perfect description? The wonder will never leave me on that one, I don’t even think I truly captured just how accurate oxymorons could be until I lived out 2014, which I can only describe as the most famous oxymoron of all time: bittersweet.
I’ll start with the bitter, but I have two disclaimers
1) I have never been a woe is me kind of person and 2014 did not turn me into one
2) This isn’t meant to sound like a moan, it’s merely part of the synopsis of my year.
I think back to who I was at the beginning of this year and the girl that stares back at me in the mirror is not the same. Partly because she’s gained a stone but anyway, new year-new me-better food choices-intense gym workouts… I digress. The girl that started 2014 was confident in her abilities, pretty much had a 5 year plan in place, and was for the first time enjoying university. I had a conditional graduate job in the pipeline, was finally on track to getting those grades that the conditions depended on, and I felt like I’d finally let Jesus sit in the front seat of my life. Then March came and housing issues were forcing me to make decisions that I didn’t want to make.
Every turn seemed scary or selfish and the stability I stood on slipped away from underneath me with a single rose letter. The next blow came a few months later and in the summer the punches came fast and forceful. Grades weren’t met, job offer was revoked and rent and bills reached out their hands while I had nothing in my pockets to fill them with. 2014 was painful, some days I smiled through it and others left me weepy, with my time with Jesus giving me the morsel of joy I used to get through the day. This year there were points when I didn’t think things could get any worse, but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt about God, he will turn your situation around in a matter of moments.
The sweet came in the latter half of the year, just in the nick of time. I apologise in advance for the vomit you may feel as you read this paragraph. Four days after I found out that I hadn’t achieved the grades I’d been praying for and I could only hold my breath as life hung in the balance, I met the guy that became my best friend and my boyfriend all in the next month. Whirlwind romance much?! Waiting for a job and wondering how I would afford to live was coupled with falling in love and wondering how I could be so lucky. There’s a paradox if there ever was one. The good times kept on rolling, when a few weeks later I got a job that would pay me enough of a salary before rent was due. It hasn’t all been hugs and butterflies but the job I started in September taught me so much about what I’d like to do with myself, I can only chuckle at the career plan I started the year with.
So there you have it, the good, the bad, and at points the very ugly. Despite how bad it got, I’m so glad for the things I get to walk into 2015 gaining.
But those who wait for the Lord ‘s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired. Isaiah 40:31
A person plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9
And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28
A fresh perspective
Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but he was born blind so that the acts of God may be revealed through what happens to him. John 9:3
Sometimes crappy things happen, the going gets tough and we search for God in the midst of our madness. I know it’s corny but it’s true when they say that without a test you won’t have a testimony. This year I learnt that we live to bring glory to God. It might not be fun, and sometimes it might be we well and truly painful, but the whole essence of our beings has a purpose rooted in bringing God the glory. I just wanna give a shalla to the people that were there for me this year, the friends that gave me a shoulder to cry on, the boyf that gave me his hand to hold, the God that promised this year wouldn’t defeat me. I love you all and I’m so grateful for the gifts that 2014 gave me.
Happy New Year in advance