Why I Considered Divorcing My Husband

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Last week I was given the opportunity to fly out to Madrid with my school. I was asked on Tuesday and we were due to leave the next day which only gave me hours to prepare for the trip. I was excited, in awe of God’s favour (all expenses were paid!) and hoping to learn a few lessons to share with you here. Here are three:

1) Marriage is for life

Oh.

I’m not married.

I’m not even mentally married to a man and secretly hoping he will put a ring on it in the coming months. However, despite my unmarried status, I considered divorcing my husband during the first night as my colleague filled our bedroom with her loud, selfish, insufferable snoring. I wondered if I would ask my husband to sleep in a separate bedroom if he snored as loudly as my colleague. As I considered the different ways to quell the sounds erupting from her nostrils (yes, I considered smothering her, God forgive me) I realised that one day I would be sharing a room with a boy (wahhhhh) and when I eventually marry, there will be things my husband does (even during his sleep) that will make me want to scream. As a lay awake in Madrid, I thought about the different reasons people divorce (what does irreconcilable differences really mean anyway?) I can’t speak on divorce with much authority as I haven’t had the privildege of joining that elite club yet. Despite my inexperience I am almost certain that when people stand before God and their families, declaring their undying love for each other, they genuinely desire to become one and journey through the rest of their lives together. Maybe the importance of the vows they once said take a back seat to their spouses’ insufferable actions; maybe it’s an issue as insignificant as snoring or leaving the toilet seat up, maybe it’s a secret as damaging as an affair or remortgaging the house to fund a sordid addiction. Whatever the reason, divorce is rife, it’s happening daily around the world; people are walking away from the people they once loved with everything.

What would cause you to divorce your spouse?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

At 2 a.m, I vowed to be resilient when I finally married, to persevere through whatever we faced, to forgive him when his words and actions hurt my heart, to stay when I’d rather walk away…and to roll him over with love if he snores. Life happens, things don’t always turn out as we plan but I pray that when the time comes, I do not give up on us and that he doesn’t give up on me.

2) Look up or you will miss the moment

As I walked around Real Madrid Football Club, the sun was shining and the place looked amazing. I spent a lot of the earlier part of the tour lost in my thoughts and staring at the floor. About halfway through the tour, I decided to look up and to live in the moment, to inhale it and to put my problems in God’s hands. In my hands, my problems become bigger and they are often mishandled but in God’s hands, they are reshaped, solved and put into perspective.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.

Psalm 42:5

3) Things take time

Before we took off, the plane was on the ground for a long time.It moved slowly, positioned itself and readied itself for the next phase. At times it felt as though it was taking too long, as if we’d never get off the ground. Yet when it started going, it moved with such pace and intention that my pupils were filled with awe as it began to rise.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to position yourself, how long you have to circle the ground before take off – you will take off. When you do, those that wrote you off will be in awe of heights God is taking you to. You will not grow weary, you will be strong, you will run, you will walk, you will be everything God intended – in His time.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Lots of love guys, have a beautiful and fruitful week!

Joyyy xxxx

9 thoughts on “Why I Considered Divorcing My Husband”

  1. Divorce usually happens when one of the two gives up. I hope that if your future husband gives up on you (which happened in my case), that you will not spend too much time not giving up on him. I did that for 2 years and it sucked. He still divorced me.

    1. You’re right. One person can’t carry a relationship, both people have to want to make it work which is why I hope my future husband (if he’s out there) doesn’t give up on me either. It’s always difficult when those who claim to love us but God and time are precious healers.

      Thanks so much for reading. God bless you xx

  2. Nice piece!
    God grant us the patience and grace to Love the way He loves us. So, yeah we do those annoying things that get strung up in the list of ‘irreconcilable differences’ to God and yet He loves us all over again, but with the significant other it is simply ‘time to quit’?

    God teach us to love unconditionally.

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