Why My Relationship Had Me Hiding From Social Media

  

I like to think I have never been an over-sharer. I’ve never really felt the need to broadcast every little detail about my rather uneventful life, but I had some kind of presence on the social media platforms. As you may have gathered, I love to talk so once we all had created Twitter accounts I set up camp on the timeline and would share many a random thought or a rant about everything that was wrong with the world. Soon after, Snapchat arrived and I was in my element. I would snap all the exciting things that happened and all the strange ‘who are these people we share the Earth with’ moments too. I’d even go as far to say, I was a good person to have on Snapchat. There’d be the occasional ‘hi snapchat I’m in bed and I’m bored snaps’ but I classify those more as a cry for help than a way to judge the quality of my videos.

Oh how things have changed. Now I probably snap quarterly and only get those weird accounts that have cartoons for profile pictures following me on Twitter. Long story short I entered a relationship and as that door opened, the door of sharing moments on social media almost closed, and it’s only recently I’ve realised the driving thoughts behind my social deadness. 

1. Some things you just don’t need to know about me.

I think it’s slightly hypocritical to say this considering I force you into reading about my life, here on this blog, but hopefully you read and feel like you only read the necessary key events. Reality TV has fooled us into thinking its normal to know what people had for breakfast and why they’ve made their outfit choices for the day and who they’ve gone to the cinema with after work, but am I the only one that misses having to talk to people to find out what’s going on with them? I’m not ashamed of the evenings in I’ve spent falling asleep to ‘How to get away with murder’ I just would rather you called to find out what I’m up to.

2. The flaunt what you have mentality isn’t really for me

What really ended my Snapchat career was the internal battle that came down to ‘will sharing this moment with people make it any more special to me.’ Yes I’ve just been on a lovely date and I really do think the flowers I’ve received are beautiful but will sharing the moment  make it wen more memorable than it is?  Once I realised the answer was no, I found it really difficult to justify the snap. It’s lovely that we now have the ability to share important moments with friends and family as they happen, I think we just have to be careful of our motives behind this. If we’re wearing our ‘come and see what the Lord has done faces’ then by all means share away but if we’re just stunting then it may be time to have a re-think. 

 
3. Whether or not people see what you have doesn’t take away from you having it 

Have you ever watched The Secret Millionaire? It’s not that entertaining so don’t rush to download the series if you haven’t ever tuned it. What’s interesting about the show is watching people treat the millionaire in disguise as an ordinary citizen (which truly they are) not knowing just how much that person could change their lives. One thing I’ve always admired about the semi-rich is the understated look they have which doesn’t give off any, ‘hello, can’t you see I’m rich’ warning signs. I wouldn’t say be ashamed of the things you’ve been blessed with but there’s no need to flaunt. I can be in love but if every person walking down the street doesn’t know about it, that’s ok. It’s similar to  Christianity, you can wear your faith on your sleeve, with crosses on your neck, Bible on hand getting on your soap box so the world can see your a Christian or you can live it out and let people realise what you believe as they get to know you .

Being in love makes me so happy but  before I take to social media I really have to question if I’m sharing because I want to flaunt what I’ve been blessed with or just share a nice moment. All the self evaluation that comes with entering into a relationship really made me question the reason why I do things, including the smallest of actions. I had to ask why am I sharing this thought with the world who probably would rather not hear about just how great I think my life is, and think about how right it is to only show you my joy if you’ll never see my tears. I just can’t be that girl sharing all of the lovely things that being in a relationship brings when I wouldn’t dream of showing you the arguments, frustration and rage. So here I am, shying away from the relationship limelight living the life of ‘if you’d like to know, please ask’.

Relationship or no relationship, if you haven’t already given up something for lent I challenge you to boycott the overshare lifestyle we’ve all been dragged into, and pick up the phone and arrange to meet the friends you care about. Why not swap a snapchat story for hearing all about the crazy woman in the nail shop in person? I guarantee there’s nothing that beats laughing in real time and not having to record and re-record yourself laughing because you accidentally took your finger off your phone.

Love lots 

Dani

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