Tag Archives: pray

The Lessons Failing Has Taught Me

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit but they don’t tell you how to keep something going long enough to reach this elusive 21 day mark. Whether it’s going to the gym or opening your Bible, by day 3 you’ve lost the giddy passion you began with and by day 5 you’re out of step with the tentative rhythm you’d got into. Day 7 arrives and I’ve completely forgotten I had begun the week with the intention of making it radically different to the week before, and I find myself vowing to use the new week ahead to make a change. The cycle continues. Along with the frustration that my life isn’t moving in the right directions and the disappointment that I am unable to stick at anything long enough to change my life for the better.

* Major sigh* Last week was one of those weeks. Too busy to be immersed in the presence of God, living in fringe Christianity, where Christ is always in the vicinity but there’s be no effort made to walk over and begin a hearty conversation. Just thinking through my failed half-attempts to spend time with God infuriates me. I could put it down to bad time management on some days and point blank laziness on others, but the overarching reason comes down to a lack of desire. I’m not saying I don’t love Jesus (every Sunday, I remember just how great he is and how much I miss being close to him), but when I’m coming up with every excuse under the sun as to why now is not the right time to get on my knees and open my Bible, I’ve got to wonder how much I want to pray. When I want a new job, I stomach the chore that is sifting through adverts and job boards and I begin applying. When I want to lose weight I fight the voice in my head telling me to lay in bed and I put on my trainers and go for a run. But when it comes to getting close to God…
I’d like to dispel a big misconception: Just because you didn’t feel like opening your bible this morning and getting ready for church was the ultimate chore last week, doesn’t mean you should give up on your relationship with God. I think we treat our relationships with God in the idealistic way we view relationships with our other halves. ‘We’ve deceived ourselves into believing it should all just come naturally, there shouldn’t be any element of doubt and the moment we begin to question how much we are ready to fight for the relationship, we consider giving in the towel and questioning the very reason we’ve entered into the relationship.
This post is for everyone who is tired of the weekly routine of being distant with God, only to reconnect with him every Sunday, or every month when you feel like everything in life is going array, or every time you desperately need a miracle. I’m writing for everyone who feels guilty every time they ask God for something because they can’t remember the last time they spoke to God, just to hang out with him. For everyone reading who feels frustrated with their lack of commitment to their faith and is struggle to break the cycle, I write for you, because I too am tired of the charade that has become my walk with Christ.
It doesn’t have to be this way.

I could remind you of everything you already know- you’re supposed to read your word daily, you’re supposed to seek God first, you should be actively looking to please God, as opposed to making decisions that you feel need the least repentance, but I won’t stop there. It’s great to have knowledge but wisdom is being able to do something with what you know.

3 tips to making this week with Christ better than the last:
1. Review your faith everyday.

We wait so long before we come running back to God and we’re just delaying the process of receiving God’s forgiveness and being able to move forward in our faith. Why wait until Sunday to remind you what the presence of God feels like and how good it is to be in? Implementing a daily review into your routine will give you the opportunity to seek out Christ tomorrow if you feel like you didn’t that day. The quicker you catch a bad habit, the easier it is to stop.

2. Surround yourself with people who share your motive to put Christ at the centre. 

There is a reason that people with addictions get sent to self help groups and the likes of weight watchers can boast of so many extreme weight loss testimonials- change is easier with others. The whole point of church is to provide us with a family to grow with, but if your church isn’t giving you that, create your own. Spend more time with the people that are also trying to grow in Christ and you’ll be able to give and receive the encouragement you both need to stay on track.

3. Catchup with Christ mid-week.

Whether it’s joining a bible study group, or going to mid week prayer, fellowshipping with Christians and having another Jesus-day in addition to Sunday, gives you a double reminder that a Christ-centred life is the way. I used to attend an amazing fellowship that taught me so much and encouraged me to go and read my Bible for myself.
Your relationship with Christ is yours alone, but you don’t have to work out your faith on your own.

If you take on of these tips on board, or just want to check in with someone about your faith, please leave a comment/dm/ drop me an email. Would love to hear how you manage to stay on track with Jesus in the comments section.

Big love,
Dani xxxxx

The One Thing I Have In Common With Janine Butcher



Alas, it hit me: I share a connection with one of Britain’s infamous murderers. Evil on the outside, tiny smidgen of niceness within, we’ve all lost count of just how many husbands Janine Butcher has pushed over the edge (quite literally).

I shall address the elephant in the room.

What exactly do I have in common with a serial killer?

For those of you who don’t watch Eastenders(the only  British soap that’s better than Coronation Street,) all you need to know is:

1. There’s no point tuning in now (they’re currently dragging out a really boring storyline that involves an old lady and her, not so dead, son)

2. Janine Butcher- fictional character, member of the Eastenders cast, and I, Daniela Caulcrick- resident of the real world and citizen accountable to the real law, have both stood up in court, plead guilty, and gotten away scot free.

Do you believe in miracles?

We live in a New Age. An age where it seems science has an answer to everything and it’s not so much that God’s answers aren’t there, but they’ve become somewhat irrelevant. All the big questions that used to preoccupy the minds of earth folk, as recent as 100 years ago, are now replaced with answers supported by bountiful evidence. Makes you question the need for faith, right?



On the 30th August when I received my summons from Croydon Magistrates court to testify about a crime I had committed (using an oyster card that didn’t belong to me,) and found out that my conviction would result in a criminal record (Transport For London take no prisoners,) I knew that my faith was the only thing that was going to get me through.

 “I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Opening that court summons I felt sick. Sick because I couldn’t honestly plead NOT GUILTY, sick because I didn’t want a criminal record, sick because there didn’t seem to be a way to avoid becoming a convict.

After the sickness came decision time.

I decided to believe God for a MIRACLE. I didn’t know how He was going to do it, but I prayed that he would make it as though my run-in with the law had never happened. In September, I took the stand, plead honestly, and waited for the verdict. Anyone who believes miracles don’t exist should have been with me in court when they said they were WITHDRAWING my guilty plea and would be sending me a letter confirming they’d DROPPED the case.

Just like that.

This New Age provides answers, and without dismissing your belief in God, traps you into seeing him as little more than a supernatural energy that helps you to ‘be a better person’. However you phrase it, it comes down to: “you can serve your God as long as you don’t publicly claim to believe in all that magic hocus pocus stuff that can’t be scientifically explained. That would just make you crazy right?

(All together now)


Believing in the IDEA of a God is NOT the same as believing in an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving being. I understand the desire to refrain from appearing as a ‘Bible bashing So And So’ but if your faith isn’t attached to any substantive beliefs, it doesn’t really amount to much. Fundamentalist has become a dirty word reserved for those deemed too far gone to be reasoned with, but being a Christian is all about believing the bible, in more than a figurative, choose the nice bits and discard the bits that are hard to stomach, kind of way.

I couldn’t tell you whether the mountain Jesus is referring to in Matthew is real rather than theoretical. What’s important is that we all have mountains in our lives, troubles that don’t seem solvable with human logic. Jesus is pointing out that with just a tiny bit of faith, they can disappear.

I’ll be forever grateful to God for coming through for me. I can only urge you to believe in the attributes of God, if you claim to serve him. Who said miracles have to be a thing of the past? You can’t please God without faith, so start speaking to the mountains in your life, and expect to see them move.

Your rationalisation of everything will get you no-where.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

Love Dani