Tag Archives: repentance

Are You Worthy Of Your Purpose?


During the course of my childhood and teenage years, I watched enviously as my older sister took piano lessons. Being the not-so-well-behaved child at school, whenever I asked for lessons, all I got was (cue angry Nigerian accent): “DON’T BOTHER ASKING ME AGAIN FOR MONEY TOWARDS THOSE STUPID MUSIC LESSONS. LOOK AT YOUR BEHAVIOUR. THIS HOUSE PHONE CANNOT GO ONE WEEK WITHOUT RECEIVING A CALL FROM YOUR SCHOOL….” As you can imagine, the lecture goes on. Annoyed at my sister’s lack of passion for music, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Half-way through my first year in 6th form, I dug out my sisters’ old keyboard and began to teach myself.

The last few years, I’ve mostly been playing piano recreationally with friends and, every now and then, in churches with choirs. But late last year when I started University and found a Church, I obtained a deep desire. This desire was to use my abilities to lead people into the very thing we were created to do – worship. My first reaction to this was “You are not worthy”.

In all your sinfulness and unrighteousness, you want to get on that alter and minster to people? Does God really want somebody who is victim to lust, deceitfulness, gluttony and so much more, leading His sons and daughter and worship? Furthermore, what makes you think you even have the skills to do such a thing?”

These were my words. I wish I could say that the enemy said these things to me but I would be lying. The words were mine and mine alone.For the next month I said to myself, “If you even want to think about joining the worship team, you need to fix up. You need to be less sinful and you need to practise every day!” And that is exactly what I tried to do.

As you would guess, I failed.

Epically.

Only then did I finally ask what God had to say about all this.

“If you want to hear God speak, read your Bible out loud” – John Piper.

What makes you think you even have the skills to do such a thing?” 

God interrupted me and said

You don’t”.

 I chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; I chose what is what is weak in the world to shame the strong; I chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast my presence”. (1 Conrinthians 1:27-29)

I was right in acknowledging that my skills alone were insufficient, but trying to correct them with endless hours of rehearsing was ultimately the wrong way to go about it. If I had all the right skills then I wouldn’t need Him in my life. I could lead worship and take all the credit – but I don’t. The desire to join the worship team was placed in my heart, not because I’m sufficient, but because I’m insufficient. Reason being – “So that no human being might boast in the presence of God”. If I was sufficient, I would have the right to boast and glorify myself; because I am not, I can only glorify the one who is, God himself.

Does God really want somebody who is victim to lust, deceitfulness, gluttony and so much more, leading His sons and daughter and worship? God said:

 And because of Him you are in Jesus Christ, became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord”.(Corinthians 1:30)

In other words, “YES, you are sinful but that’s why I gave up my Son for you. My Spirit, along with my righteousness, will live within you and sanctify you. When you go up on that alter, go with MY righteousness and MY sanctification so I may be glorified and not you!”

Often we desire to do the work of God in various ways; from becoming a Pastor to speaking to one of our mates about Christ. We cannot let our guilt can cloud our judgment. The intention of this post is not for you ignore your sin – as we should constantly be fighting it – but for you to change your guilt into conviction, repent and allow the righteousness of Christ to work in your life – through whatever it is you to desire to do or become.​

Rupert 🙂

The Day I Became Immune To Snake Bites

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There’s something about board games that makes them uber fun whether you’re five or fifty five. Just me? I think it’s that thrill of getting so close to beating someone but knowing you can’t get too cocky before your luck changes and the tables turn, and it’s you hanging onto the game with the skin of your teeth. I think it’s clear that I love a good board game, but my reflection time this week revealed the extent to which I connected with them. Mulling over the lessons life taught me this week it dawned on me that I had been treating life like one long board game. More specifically, a game of Snakes and Ladders.

Random. I know. But true nonetheless. As I reminisced on a week spent battling with my sins I discovered the root cause of my attitude towards sin and the aftermath that followed every sin I committed. For me, every time I learnt a lesson from God, obeyed his direction, was enjoying regular quiet time with him, I felt like I was playing the Christianity game the way it should be played. I was going up all the ladders and edging closer to fulfilling all God had for me. Meanwhile every sin was the equivalent of stepping on a snake, taking me a hundred steps back and making it seem impossible that I would ever live out my purpose. Sinning made me distraught and conflicted about how to act next. If I repented it would mean acknowledging that I had done wrong and accepting that I was back at square one. I questioned how far I had really come if I was willing to throw it all away so quickly at the lure of temptation.

What I came to terms with was how wrong my attitude towards sin was. There can be awful consequences of sin, I don’t need to remind you about Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt, Moses not being able to enter the promise land, the destroying of Sodom and Gomorrah and the ending of all life outside the ark. These are all valid examples of the seriousness that committing sin behold but they are not proof that every sin brings us back to the drawing board with God. The reason sin and more importantly the fear of sin had such a big impact on my life is because I has genuinely started to believe that my actions made me righteous.

And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified. Romans 8:28-30

We get into the mindset that our actions make us righteous so we get so disappointed in ourselves because we’ve sinned so we’re ‘no longer’ righteous but we were never made righteous because of our actions. God makes us righteous and he’s the same person whose blood washes us white as snow. We can live according to the ways of God, only through the grace of God.

Here’s a word of advice for everyone whose struggling with living with themselves after they sin.

When you sin, you must repent, and then you must move on.

Two things that set me free:

1) Guilt is not of God.
By all means feel convicted of the sins you commit, but once you’ve repented, God had forgiven you, so you’ve got to follow suit and forgive yourself. We’ve got a bit of cheek haven’t we, having the audacity to punish ourselves for things that God has forgotten all about. It may not seem fair that you can commit 100 sins a day and with one prayer of repentance God wipes your slate clean, but that is just the way it is. Simples.

2) You are what you eat.
A lot of the time we feel so bad about a particular sin we’ve committed/ keep committing that we put safeguards in place to prevent ourselves from committing the sin ever again, which is good, and can even be great when it stops us from giving in to ourselves, but are we really solving the issue? You can put safeguards in place but don’t be surprised if they don’t work when you haven’t stopped to pray about the issue and to meditate on God’s word. Our actions generally reflect what’s going on in our hearts and when we’re acting in a way that’s contradictory to what God tells us to do we have to look back at what we’ve allowed to enter our hearts and minds.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

If you have a problem with gambling it doesn’t make sense to stay up late every night and watch online gambling shows for ‘entertainment’. You’re going to end up desiring what you surround yourself with so let’s make life easier for ourselves and surround ourselves with the things of God.

Instead of living in constant guilt as I struggle to win the battle against sin, this week I will feast on the word of God and allow that to change my thinking.

Love you

Dani xxxx