Tag Archives: twitter

Why My Relationship Had Me Hiding From Social Media

  

I like to think I have never been an over-sharer. I’ve never really felt the need to broadcast every little detail about my rather uneventful life, but I had some kind of presence on the social media platforms. As you may have gathered, I love to talk so once we all had created Twitter accounts I set up camp on the timeline and would share many a random thought or a rant about everything that was wrong with the world. Soon after, Snapchat arrived and I was in my element. I would snap all the exciting things that happened and all the strange ‘who are these people we share the Earth with’ moments too. I’d even go as far to say, I was a good person to have on Snapchat. There’d be the occasional ‘hi snapchat I’m in bed and I’m bored snaps’ but I classify those more as a cry for help than a way to judge the quality of my videos.

Oh how things have changed. Now I probably snap quarterly and only get those weird accounts that have cartoons for profile pictures following me on Twitter. Long story short I entered a relationship and as that door opened, the door of sharing moments on social media almost closed, and it’s only recently I’ve realised the driving thoughts behind my social deadness. 

1. Some things you just don’t need to know about me.

I think it’s slightly hypocritical to say this considering I force you into reading about my life, here on this blog, but hopefully you read and feel like you only read the necessary key events. Reality TV has fooled us into thinking its normal to know what people had for breakfast and why they’ve made their outfit choices for the day and who they’ve gone to the cinema with after work, but am I the only one that misses having to talk to people to find out what’s going on with them? I’m not ashamed of the evenings in I’ve spent falling asleep to ‘How to get away with murder’ I just would rather you called to find out what I’m up to.

2. The flaunt what you have mentality isn’t really for me

What really ended my Snapchat career was the internal battle that came down to ‘will sharing this moment with people make it any more special to me.’ Yes I’ve just been on a lovely date and I really do think the flowers I’ve received are beautiful but will sharing the moment  make it wen more memorable than it is?  Once I realised the answer was no, I found it really difficult to justify the snap. It’s lovely that we now have the ability to share important moments with friends and family as they happen, I think we just have to be careful of our motives behind this. If we’re wearing our ‘come and see what the Lord has done faces’ then by all means share away but if we’re just stunting then it may be time to have a re-think. 

 
3. Whether or not people see what you have doesn’t take away from you having it 

Have you ever watched The Secret Millionaire? It’s not that entertaining so don’t rush to download the series if you haven’t ever tuned it. What’s interesting about the show is watching people treat the millionaire in disguise as an ordinary citizen (which truly they are) not knowing just how much that person could change their lives. One thing I’ve always admired about the semi-rich is the understated look they have which doesn’t give off any, ‘hello, can’t you see I’m rich’ warning signs. I wouldn’t say be ashamed of the things you’ve been blessed with but there’s no need to flaunt. I can be in love but if every person walking down the street doesn’t know about it, that’s ok. It’s similar to  Christianity, you can wear your faith on your sleeve, with crosses on your neck, Bible on hand getting on your soap box so the world can see your a Christian or you can live it out and let people realise what you believe as they get to know you .

Being in love makes me so happy but  before I take to social media I really have to question if I’m sharing because I want to flaunt what I’ve been blessed with or just share a nice moment. All the self evaluation that comes with entering into a relationship really made me question the reason why I do things, including the smallest of actions. I had to ask why am I sharing this thought with the world who probably would rather not hear about just how great I think my life is, and think about how right it is to only show you my joy if you’ll never see my tears. I just can’t be that girl sharing all of the lovely things that being in a relationship brings when I wouldn’t dream of showing you the arguments, frustration and rage. So here I am, shying away from the relationship limelight living the life of ‘if you’d like to know, please ask’.

Relationship or no relationship, if you haven’t already given up something for lent I challenge you to boycott the overshare lifestyle we’ve all been dragged into, and pick up the phone and arrange to meet the friends you care about. Why not swap a snapchat story for hearing all about the crazy woman in the nail shop in person? I guarantee there’s nothing that beats laughing in real time and not having to record and re-record yourself laughing because you accidentally took your finger off your phone.

Love lots 

Dani

How To Stop Feeling Lonely

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The saying “no man is an island” is a phrase I’ve often heard and one that is usually used to evidence our need for human interaction. As a society, we have accepted that to be alone is to be lonely, making it taboo to go the cinema alone or eat alone in a restaurant. For some, the very thought of engaging in social activities alone is enough to make them sweat, while others do it as an act of defiance, determined to prove that they cannot be moulded by society.  If you’re one of those “I can eat alone, don’t need nobody” types, that’s cool – more power to you. But if you go to a restaurant alone and speak to your friends on Whatsapp while you eat and tweet about amazing your dining experience as it is happening then….

The truth is, we like to have people around us, physically, or more recently via mediums such as BBM, Whatsapp and Twitter, which can give the illusion of company if even we are alone. We speak on the phone during short walks from the station; our eyes are glued to our iPhone screens as we cross busy roads, and we engage in frivolous conversation without realising how much time we are actually expending. It is as though our generation are unable to enjoy a moment without feeling the need to share it with people who aren’t there. Unfortunately, we spend more time trying to capture moments than we do experiencing them.

I think the problem with being constantly connected is that when there is no one around, we begin to feel lonely. Not the cute lonely like “aw, I wish Jeff was here” (there is no Jeff, just a random name I thought of lol) but a nagging, irritating, almost painful lonely which makes us uncomfortable and causes us to reach out to people unnecessarily so that they can protect us from the loneliness that we feel. As a result, we are never forced to address the underlying cause of our loneliness.

Loneliness is such a hard feeling to face. I quite like my own company, hate Whatsapp and tend to spend a lot of time alone. Usually it’s fine. Other days, the feeling of loneliness can creep in which makes me question myself. Why are moments of solitude so uncomfortable? Why aren’t they met with jubilation? Why don’t I use those moments to wrestle with the parts of my being that I know need to be fixed instead of reaching out for people who will only move my attention away from the internal work that needs to be done?

I once read that the feeling of loneliness is God trying to remind us that he’s still around; that feeling is God beckoning us to his side. That hollow feeling? That need for company? Apparently, that’s him knocking. Do I believe this to be true? To be quite honest, it sounds nice but I’m not convinced  – if it’s not literally written in scripture and is being inferred, I’m always tentative in taking it as truth. However, I do know that God is always close to us.

Acts 17: 27

God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

God wants us to speak to him, he wants to be close to us and he is a jealous God (Exodus 20:4-5) –  he wants to be first in our lives ALL the time. He wants to be the one we run to when we feel overwhelmed or unsafe as he longs to be the one that saves us. As Christians, we shouldn’t ever feel lonely because we have unlimited access to an unlimited God who always wants to sit with us and talk through whatever! I talk to God about my insatiable need for chicken, boy drama, whether squats will actually work (THEY DO!!), whether the dreams he has laid on my heart will ever come to pass…the list goes on because there is just SO much to say. The best part is I don’t have to hold back, I can be myself because he already knows everything about me. There is no pride, no discretion and no need to appear as though I have everything figured out.

The next time you feel lonely, maybe reach for the Bible (app) before you reach for Whatsapp. If you don’t feel like reading the bible but you want to have a conversation with someone, just speak to him; he’s always listening.

Love and all that other mushy stuff,

Joy xxx

Why Lie?

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James 1:22

But be sure you live out the message and do not merely listen to it and so deceive yourselves.

I look around me at the, what seems like, sudden influx of people defining themselves as Christians and my heart is genuinely warmed. Heaven rejoices each time just one gives their life to Christ, and all of you that are bold in your faith and following of Jesus Christ really do encourage me to pursue my own walk with our saviour.

What we all must remember is that church attendance, re-tweeting a bible verse and liking a scriptural meme is not the be all and end all our faith. There are several things that come with a pursuit of Jesus Christ, and merely proclaiming Jesus from time to time, will not suffice. We have received a God who IS love into our lives to be our Lord and saviour. Being a Christian is about being an extension of that love in the world.

Christ tells the story of what will happen when he returns to the Earth in Mathew 25:31-46. I don’t know about you but I intend on being in the group of the righteous. Imagine thinking you’ve lived a Christian life, retweeting at every opportunity and not letting a Sunday go past where the congregation don’t see your face and Christ comes and makes v41-43 your reality. God forbid. Christianity is more than doing a good deed for the day, not breaking the law, and only mumbling the insults you think under your breath instead of saying them at an audible decibel.

God wants you to treat all those in need (that includes strangers) with the same love he showed you when he died on the cross for your sins. Love is about action. Don’t let the words of Sunday become so ineffectual that they merely become catchy phrases or beautiful literature.

Live out the message. The devil is the biggest deceiver, no need to deceive yourself.

Love,

Dani xx